(:

2005-04-14T04:36:00.000-07:00

HEY this will be the last time i'm going to blog already. thank god for letting me know everything, and letting me noe how fortunate i am. :D i feel so sorry for ya girl.. well u 2 make a perfect pair. haha.. :D

2005-03-26T21:20:00.000-08:00

have i gotten over it or have i not? or maybe i'm just numb to it.
when i saw the tags he left at xuan's blog, i actually felt something althou they're not a bit related to me. n all coz its written by him. i guess i've not plucked up the courage to face the reality. but i'm working on it already. i juz needed a bit more time. at least i felt better then before n no longer feeling i'm the person with the worst fate in the world. all i need is just a little more....

2005-03-11T03:32:00.000-08:00

have been too distracted for the past 3 mths. i wondered what i've been doing, i've actually spent 3 mths sobbing over someone who doesn deserves it all. and look wad i've brought to myself.. lousy results..
i must really buck up.. its not worth wasting my future over someone like this. if i continue in this state, i'll really regret for the rest of my life. its really time to settle down and be more rational. my world doesn juz revolve ard him, i've much important things to achieve in life. and that is getting into UNIVERSITY!
tmr will be a gd start.. a new beginning. i still have time to catch up. its just a few mths away, and i'll be free of all these troubles. ENDURE!! my future lies in my hand... i'm gonna return back to the time when he had not appeared in my life..
but still.. i believe in...................................."what comes ard, goes ard"...................................... we'll wait and see...

2005-03-10T02:21:00.000-08:00

i finally found out i'm really gd in nth, no talents, no achievements, no fittess, no style, juz nth at all.. failed my GP again, as usual.. juz tat tis is really bad, worst of all the failed papers. tml gonna get back bio paper, tink gonna fail again. n i'm gonna fail my maths too.. haha.. wad a joke! having been in JC for 1 yr, don tink i had passed my subjects for more den 10 times. and As & Bs just seem so far away, to think i still wanna be a dentist. well maybe in my next life.
sometimes i wonder, am i too stupid or am i juz too lazy? or it's juz a combination of both? can't seems to be doin well in anything i did.. i wonder when will tis end? end of tis yr? i guess the yr when i took my results wld really be the end of me..

2005-03-08T06:22:00.000-08:00

nths gonna change a thing anymore... i wished i cld be more kind hearted to forgive them and forget everything. shld force myself to delete all the memories i had, and juz wash my hands off them. except for all the best, is there anything else more i can say? i guessed not.. i need to break free from all these memories. i need to get someone new.. i'm tired... really tired...
tears still rolled.. but no one cares. sometimes i feel like a loser... wad a loser i am...
this blog has too many of my sad memories.. wished someday i'll not need to confide to this blog anymore.. i guess tat someday comes when someone nicer enters my life again...

2005-03-08T01:27:00.000-08:00

juz had the feelings of being left out everytime. is it that i'm over sensitive or are they too obvious?
althou sometimes i don say, it doesn mean i do not mind. i wished i could be involved in every of ur talks, n i wished i'm not always the one being neglected to be asked to go out. maybe its not being neglected, its juz tat i'm always being asked too late...
well, maybe there's juz something wrong with me. maybe it wld be better for me to talk lesser and just walk alone.

2005-03-07T01:35:00.000-08:00

everything was a lie!! y did ya console me when u've already decided to get back to him! i tot u were nice, i tot all the consolations u made was true. all of u all r in cahoots! u all r juz out to hurt me! does hurting some1 innocent tat fun??
and YOU!! if u've nv loved any1 else except her den y hurt others! both of u r the same!! i'm juz the stepping stone of the whole thing! u all don understand the hurt tat u've inflicted on me! or u all noe its juz fun laughter peace n joy when both of u r tgt. i wish u 2 all the best! coz both of u r a perfect match for each other.
seriously i hate u and u.... i don wanna be nice anymore. i've had enough!! but be glad tat i hate u and u, coz the process of hating is hurtful. i hope u and u are happy over there!
i'm so tired already... i've spent a quarter of the yr crying over u, i've spent a quarter of the yr looking at the memories and wonder if they were there and if they were true. i wanna get out of this!! how long more do i need to get out of this! nobody understands...

2005-02-07T05:56:00.000-08:00

P4 and LIQI!!! I LOVE U ALL!!.. haha...
omg.. they're really my dearies, they thought of such a nice plan to celebrate be early bday with me..
dear liqi called me n acted she was crying n demand me to go find her immediately. wheni was juz to open the door and find her, she n P4 popped out in front of my doorstep with a bday cake.. omg i was so touched. i kept hitting liqi as she nearly scared the freak out of me!! haha.. neverthless, i really appreciate their thoughts very much.. this is the most special bday i've ever had...
THANK YOU!!! :D

2005-02-04T04:21:00.000-08:00

omg.. had sakae with daniel, xuanling, kim and 2 new frens i've made todae - aloy and his gf, xin yi. haha.. aloy n xin yi looked n sounded so mature, i feel like a kid beside them. really enjoyed myself todae. well, my stomach is so full with sushi now, ate from 2 to 6, guess its time to do some workout :P.. ya, we played zhong ji mi ma to finish up the leftover food! to make things worst, those leftover food are added with WASABEI. haha.. well was pretty lucky todae, only got hit twice. but having the privilage of being a girl, daniel was such a gentleman that he helped me eat up the disgusting peas with wasabei. thank u, bro. :)
kim and xuanling, aloy and xin yi, wad wonderful couples. really envious such nice couples ard. seeing how kim and aloy tried to helped their gfs with the forfeit made me understand the true meaning of "the power of love". haha :)

^^

but looking at them, somehow i felt a tinge of loneiness within me. maybe, i'm right.. i guessed sometimes all u want is not him, all u want is the feeling of being loved and cared for as well as the feeling of being attached. its ok.. i noe i'm not alone coz i've so many nice frens ard. like wad joan sae, life is beautiful. i shldn just hang on looking at that minute part of life and missed out so many other nicer things in life. :)

2005-02-02T06:57:00.000-08:00

sometimes leon just wonders..

heartless = no heart= dead

inhumane= not human = animal

therefore, heartless + inhumane = dead animal?

haha... its just so cool my fren...

2005-02-01T22:48:00.000-08:00

finally regained my appetite, n regained the usual me. those frens who truely care abt me n haf noticed my change today, just to inform u all, i've really recovered not only from illness, also had escaped from the misery in me. :)
"i've thought it through" althou i've said this many times already, i really hoped this will be the last time i'm doin this again. i knew the memories we shared still lingers in my mind but i'll not let it conquer me anymore. i've found out that the him whom i used to love had already vanished long time ago, the him now standing in front of me is just some inhumane, cold blooded, heartless creature. i muz accept this fact and move on with life. i've indulged in self pity far too long, i've missed out so many wonderful things in life. i've missed out that there're always someone somewhere out there who truely cares for me. and all they wished is just the smile on my face. and i actually oversee it, only truely appreciating it after much thoughts. they all love me.. my clique ( you all noe who you are), siang long, aaron, xuan ling, daniel, katty, yitze, mongshi, jiaxin, amanda..
i must really appreciate for wad i'm having now and not suffering in silence anymore coz it just ain worth it.

:)"i've tink it tru, its not worth wasting so much unappreciated tears and time on bastard like u"
- "glad you know that"
:)"thank god u admit that u're a bastard"
- "no, i only admit that i treated u badly"
:)"ya.. some day i just wish u could just die.."

2005-02-01T01:58:00.000-08:00

how nice wld it be when my unappreciated tears can stop rolling down uncontrollably..
how nice wld it be if i could be as heartless (but if i cld then i'm not the one u used to noe)..
how nice wld it be when one day i wake up, all the memories were gone..
how nice wld it be if i could just stop the self pitying and moved on with life..
how nice wld it be when maybe, someday some right ones will appear..
how nice wld it be if u just don exist on earth, don exist in my memories....
how nice wld it be....

2005-01-31T02:07:00.000-08:00

have been down with bacteria infection since friday.. i guess AJ is time to sterilise the classrooms and clean the air con.. :P
online alone now, coz i missed out the cross country. wonder wad the rest were doing.. i guess i've just missed out some fun..

^_^

its never nice to be sick, coz u'll become emotionally unstable. maybe all you need is someone to be there for me, and not him.
its never nice to be sick, coz it'll be the period of time u'll be most vulnerable.
its never nice to be sick, as everyone thought u were suffering from illness but its other things that u're suffering inside.
its never nice to be sick, when no one gives a damn about you.
its never nice to be sick, when u've to stare at the computer alone and wonder how are you going to get tru this period of time.
its never nice to be sick.....

2005-01-24T04:56:00.000-08:00

why are lyrics so truthful? why are they spelling everything thats in my mind? they hurts, they really hurts.. i just can't stop the struggle within me. why does he have to choose to act as thou he cares when i'm on the route to recovery. he just pulled me back to the ground when i'm almost reaching the top. never knew hating a person can be so painful...
i've tried so many excuses, so many theories to make myself feel better, but i know very well that deep inside my heart, i still yearn for something...

2005-01-22T06:26:00.000-08:00

i don need crocodile tears,
i don need sympathy,
just get out of my life and my mind,
and i'll be extremely grateful.
get out loser...

2005-01-21T03:29:00.000-08:00

"How are you lately? Hopefully you are doing fine.."

Please stop acting you care when you are not, it just erks me...

2005-01-20T03:58:00.000-08:00

Dreaming of you

Late at night when all the world is sleeping
I'd stay up and think of you
And I'd wish on a star
That somewhere you are thinking of me too

Cuz I'm dreaming of you tonight
Till tomorrow, I'll be holding you tight
And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be
Then here in my room,
Dreaming about you and me

Wonder if you even see me
And I wonder if you know I'm there
If you looked in my eyes
Would you see what's inside?
Would you even care?

I just wanna hold you close
But so far, all I have are dreams of you
So, I wait for the day and the courage to say
How much I love you(Yes, I do)

I'll be dreaming of you tonight
Till tomorrow, I'll be holding you tight
And there's nowhere in the world
I'd rather be
Then here in my room,
Dreaming about you and me

Ahhh...I can't stop dreaming of you
Ahhh...I can't stop dreamin

Late at night when all the world is sleeping
I'd stay up and think of you
And I still can't believe that you came up to me
And said, "I love you; I love you too"

Now I'm dreaming with you tonight
Till tomorrow, and for all of my life
And there's nowhere in the world
I'd rather be
Then here in my room,
Dreaming with you endlessly...

2005-01-17T03:38:00.000-08:00

i thought i've attain enlightenment..
i thought i've got over everything..
i thought i was strong enough..
i thought i wldn teared again..
only to realise tat there's still part of him in my mind which i cldn get rid off..

2005-01-15T05:56:00.000-08:00

its been very long ever since i last blog.. after orientation, my schedule is so fully packed man.. still haven got over the holiday mood, but there're juz so many things coming up. errrrrrr.. its like everyday i'm studying for test or not trying to catch up with the current work.. life is so mundane for me ya.. but thank god i had nice frens ard and my lovely kundai!! haha...
ya shall blog abt kundai.. still rem the 1st day of orientation, i'm so busy with administrative work tat i don not had the time to take a gd look at every1 of them. but as days goes by, kundai really rocks my world. they're a bunch of enthusiastic and fun people. and ya we WON almost every game in the orientation, but some spastic councellor spoilt our record by insisting that the game was a draw. and ya.. it was kinda irritating tat kundai did not get the best dwelling. hello.. its so obvious which dwelling the price shld go to right. actually its not abt the price, its abt the recognition to the dwelling's effort, tats y kinda pissed tat we cld not get tat award. i mean who cares abt those cheap snacks. :P
i really missed the time we had in orientation, but we all noe tat all gd things must come to an end. but wad i'm confident of its the spirit and friendship among us tat wld last forever. althou the orientation is over, i still often see kundai guys hanging ard tgt. tats such an encouragement to me. although its kinda irritating when some of them likes to call me and meet them then ask me some "duh" questions, i'm still glad tat they actually come to me when they've problem as it just shows tat they trust and likes me as a fren. :)
can't wait for the OG outing on 23rd jan, which is next sun! can't wait to reminicise the times we had together during the start of the yr. thank kundai, for the memories u've brought for me.
'_' returning to reality: so many homework, so many tests, so many SPAs but so little time!!! gonna be a mugger for the yr, hope i'll do well in A levels.. lets all pray for me. :)

2005-01-07T07:39:00.000-08:00

except to say kundai rocks, really can't find anymore adjectives to describe them.
thanks kundai, thanks for all the memories u all have brought for me, thanks for all the enthusiasm, thanks for the flowers and bear, thanks for being such great bunch of guys, thanks fate for bringing us together.
i really love u all guys.. really.. :D

2004-12-31T19:50:00.000-08:00

spent a great new yr eve with my clique. haha... watch meet the fockers in the afternoon with veron, damien, boo and joan. night, we had a great dinner at joan's hse with siyun and ming joining us but damien leaving us for suat. haha.. really spent a wonderful time with them man. watch MVP qing ren b4 siyun and ming arrives. but joan's VCDs abit spoil, always hang in the middle of the show. joan and boo kept complaining tat i'm so lagging behind coz MVP qing ren is such a SO LONG AGO show lah.. haha sorrie lah.. i tot it was some stupid idol series tat time mah. its only recently channel U show it again, i juz catch a couple of series den i knew its such a damn nice show. haha..
the dinner was great man, we had tepanyaki (donno if its spelt this way, hee..) siyun kept giving me food tat is uncooked, donno if she's trying to take revenge of the korean doll i gave her. haha.. and joan is always so busy wif the tao gey chao guo tiao. haha coz tao gey seems like the main dish instead of the guo tiao. after the dinner, there were still some lemon barley and papaya left, so they intended to play zhong ji mi ma. my n veron really very suay loh. i can't even rem how many times i've lost. and i've to devour all the things when i'm so damn full.. haha went to the toilet a couple of times. :)
the day ended shortly, but i really enjoyed myself very much.. i really love my frens. if i still continuing indulging in self pity, i'll feel so sorry towards them and myself. todae is a new day of a new yr, i will buried my past and lead a new life. for those who sincerely cares abt me and have always been there for me, i really appreciate u all. u all r the ones i wanna in my life and not him.. :D

2004-12-28T05:20:00.000-08:00

Diamonds

For girls

Girls have to go through up and downs, they have to walk through the dirty bushes to find their diamonds. its a difficult route, coz there're thorns in it, and they pricked and it hurts. Girls cried coz it hurts, but they stood up and carried on after sometime. Eventually they'll find their diamonds. its through the pain, they'll learn how to treasure and cherish their diamonds when they found them.

For guys

Guys do not need to go through any hardships to find their diamonds. coz when they intend to bend down and picked up the diamond. it'll always be the shinest one. but guys will never learn how to cherish and treasure them. sometimes, they even threw it away when they got sick of it. but no worries, they choose to lose it, someone better will always be there to pick it up.

and me

i'm on my way to find my diamond...

2004-12-27T07:35:00.000-08:00

i finally know why i meet so many wrong people
coz there's some1 better behind
only when we meet so many people
will den we realise how to cherish and treasure them
fate hasn't arrive and we force it to happen
and this is wad happens...

2004-12-27T07:04:00.000-08:00

we cry when we were born
we cry when we needed milk to feed ourselves
we cry when we were uncomfortable
we cry when we can't get the things we want

these are the reasons for crying when we're infants

we cry when we get bad results
we cry when we lost our grandparents
we cry when we cldn get the post we want
we cry when we recieve scoldings

these are the reasons when we're going through puberty

and now..

we cry because we're stupid..

2004-12-16T19:14:00.000-08:00

found myself crying in bed this morning. donno y, i juz can't get all those memories off my head. its been like 3 wks? n i'm still crying abt it, haha... how lousy can i get? shanz sae be glad tat i feel sad, coz if i don, it means i've not put in enuff effort. haha.. i rather i've not put in so much effort tat time so tat i won feel sad now. its terrible to cry alone in bed, have not tried this for more den a yr, y do i have to try it again? shanz sae, god wanna make us meet more pp b4 we find the right 1? but y izzit so miserable when we get to meet more pp? my head is bursting.. except for blogging it out, i really donno wad else i can do. confide to some1? but every1 has their problems, and wad can they sae? they'll juz have to sae i noe how u feel, don feel sad anymore coz it isn't worth it and.... all. All these i know when i'm consoling somebody, but sadly this kind of thing we juz simply can't apply to ourselves.
i'm leaving for korea tmr.. really needa a break.........

2004-12-16T06:52:00.000-08:00

its been a long time i've since last blog. hee..
anyway went out wif my clique ytd to watch blade trinity. althou its a clique outing but only 4 of us turned up-me boo shanz n damien. shopped ard spotlight wif damien to help him find christmas present for suat. haha.. suat demanded her christmas present to be specially made by damien, so he bo bian have to think of smth to make for her. in the end clever shanz help him thought of some creative ideas. hee.. had a lot of fun at spotlight as crappy cockstyle CEO kept on talking crap. and he's so xiao nan ren lah. he tries the spray paint on a piece of wood tat he's not intending to buy it. and after he tested the colour, he put the wood back to the shelves. :S sorrie consumers who picked up that vandalised piece of wood. its all damien's work. hee..
have been spending a lot recently. have been indulging in buy clothes. haiz.. i shld stop this or else.... i'll be broke!!! haha.. also donno y buy so many clothes, don haf chances to wear them. haiz.. hopefully after As ba. i'll have a lot of time den. :)
anyway goin korea soon for a wk. looking very forward to the trip. at least it'll bring me out of this buzzing city and let me relax for a while. and at least my mind cld be kept occupied. time really passes quickly. everything seems to haf juz happened ytd. after * so long, i still misses him. i wonder when will this end.. :

2004-12-10T06:28:00.000-08:00

here's a nice song to describe how i feel... thankz my fren.. :)

Say it isn't so

Skies are dark
It's time for rain
Final call, you board the train
Heading for tomorrow
I wave goodbye to yesterday
Wipe the tears you hide your face
Blinded by the sorrow
How can I be smiling like before
When baby you don't love me anymore

Chorus:
Say it isn't so
Tell me you're not leaving
Say you've changed your mind now
That I am only dreaming
That this is not goodbye
This is starting over
If you wanna know
I don't wanna let go
So say it isn't so

Tempt to find but at least we've tried
We're still alive with hopes this time
As they closed the door behind you
We're so alone and time stands still
Shake the ground beneath the wheels
as I wish I'd never found you
Wohoh
How can I be smiling when you go
Will I be strong enough to carry on

Chorus

Miles, miles to go
Before I can sai
lBefore I can nail my love for you to sleep
Oh darlingI get miles, miles to go
Before anyone will ever hear me laugh again

Chorus

2004-12-09T06:41:00.000-08:00

was too tired to blog ytd. so i shall update my blog now. hee.. anyway i muz sae again, my tribe rox!! lol.. i guess we're the 1st tribe tat to have tribe outing. but too bad.. i can't followed them to bugis as i've to meet my mum and sis at orchard. wad a waste... but its ok, we've decided to have another outing on mon. coz we're meeting up to do our identities. we shld get the most bonded tribe ok. but it ended up in zues' hands. plz lah... look who's more bonded!
haha.. also there's a merger b/w 3 tribes. orisha, altjira and vesta. n we came up wif a name, orjista. quite cool right. poor dagda.. have to allied wif tat 2 leftover disgusting tribes. haha.. me n boo tot of recruiting dagda to form orjidagsta. haha quite cool right.. sounds like jap. but we gave tat idea up in the end. coz 4 against 2 is too abit too overboard ah. hee...
oh ya!! my mum bought me 2 tops n a skirt. haha.. so nice of her. but den.. have no chance to wear them coz don haf the chance to go out. haiz.. me wanna organise clique outings. but most of them r either not free or missing in action. so sad.. wonder when we can go out again...

2004-12-06T05:48:00.000-08:00

I Dream

In my mind
I can climb
All the mountains that surround me
My spirit’s there,
where eagles dare to fly

In my heart
There's a spark
That can light the world around me
An open door,
where I am sure dreams are

It doesn't matter if I win
Or the colour of my skin
Cause the race is all about
Believing in yourself

And I dream
I can run
Like the wind
And be strong
When my heart just wants to give in

I dream
I can be
The hero that's in me
When I dream, I dream

If there's a time
In your life
When the odds are so against you
There's no defeat, if all you keep is pride

First or last
Slow or fast
There's a dignity that makes you
Keep driving on,
when world's have come apart

It doesn't matter rich or poor
Or the things you’ve done before
Cause the race is all about
Believing in yourself

And I dream
I can run
Like the wind
And be strong
When my heart just wants to give in

I dream
I can be
The hero that's in me
When I dream, I dream

I dream
Of a moment
That forever will be golden
When the torch is passed
Only dreams will last
That are shared by everyone

And I dream
I can run
Like the wind
And be strong
When my heart just wants to give in

I dream
I can be
The hero that's in me
When I dream, I dream

2004-12-06T05:19:00.000-08:00

well, my tribe rox man. haha.. many fun people ard. even for those quieter ones, they're very nice n friendly. n guess wad!! my dwelling parthner is JAISILAN. haha so fun.. always have a lot of crap to talk wif him, n can bully him also. haha.. had fun designing the dwelling flags. 1st time, boo said my design was nice sia. haha.. so happy.. coz i've proved myself, i can draw!!! keke.. n ya, our dwelling name is KUNDAI! J said it sound like a vulgarity, while i commented it sound like tamil, haha n boo said it sound like the name of a car- hundai. haha well.. din noe my dwelling name is such a controversal issue. haha..
when i was trying to transfer my design on the cloth, J kept wanting me to let him draw. he tries to assure me that he can do it. so reluctantly, i've agreed to let him draw. haha.. well in the end i've to erase it n redraw again, coz its kinda not proportional. haha.. double effort sia.. the worst is when i was having dinner wif my clique, J used ophelia hp to msg me if he cld paint the letters in black. i was traumatised man, black words on a dull read cloth.. omg.. haha.. veron later den said J had nv have talent in art so be careful. haha... so i replied, "u dare to paint in black, i whack u ah." never did i realise, i was msging to ophelia's no instead of J. i've got them mixed up..
i guessed i'm juz a blur sotong.. :)

2004-12-03T05:51:00.000-08:00

wad more can i say?
i din do anything wrong!
it isn't fair for me to get such treatments!
but..
came to think abt it..
wad's fair in this world??
*shrugged*

2004-12-02T05:57:00.000-08:00

i tot everything was true..
it din turn out to be..
i tot i cld forget
but i cldn't coz the memories are juz too deep..
i tot i cld forgive..
i found out i'm not tat noble..
i tot i cld got over it..
but i cldn't..
i tot..

2004-11-30T19:54:00.000-08:00

oh my god!! the SL is a disaster man. but i'm glad its over. the kids were like... so aggressive? ah lian? irritating? haha.. oops.. shldn't be so mean. shld forgive them, they're kids anyway. our games din go as well as we thought, coz the kids were like so NOT enthu. most of them juz wanted to sit down n complain boring. hai.. i'm having a sore throat now, thanks to all the kids man. no matter how loud u shout, they'll just be louder den u. haiz... n i'm like taking several roles in 1 day - mentors, party IC, n donno y in the hell i ended up becoming planning for the water games. hai..
but i still did enjoy my day lah, esp when the few of us were dancing some songs for the kids. it seems like we're entertaining ourselves instead of the kids. haha.. some of the kids were nice also. got 1 whom i forgot the name, he kept telling me, boo, damien abt illogical stuffs, n kept on imitating suat cheng actions. its damn hilarious.. haha..
anyway, not gonna go to there again unless i've to..

2004-11-29T04:20:00.000-08:00

went to watch saw wif boo, veron and shanz todae. we caught the earliest 10am show- SAW at sbw eng wah cinema. so damn cool man, the whole theatre only has the 4 of us. haha.. den the old man who collect ticket keeps on coming in to check on us. HELLO! we paid ok! haha..
the show was damn cool man, its not as horrifying i tot it was, juz tat its abit bloody. :D but the storyline was damn cool lah. and the murderer is like so damn smart. the 4 of us were trying to guessed who's the murderer tru out the show. and when we tot he was the 1, there was a complete twist in the end of the show. haha... its really nice man. enjoyed the show terribly much.
after the movie, we went for SL meeting. as usual only a handful of us showed up. :D hopefully, we won get screwed up tml. hai..
went to buy the stuffs for F&B at sheng shong wif shanz, jillian, jieli and bao ling. we bought so many things lah. n we've to carry them all by ourselves, poor us.. too bad. where r u, 1204 guys!! hai.. nvm, gals rox man.
hope tml will be a fun service learning..

2004-11-28T06:08:00.000-08:00

i've learnt..
i've learnt not to hate..
i've learnt to grow up..
i've learnt that memories can be so sweet..
i've learnt not to spent time figuring if things is good or bad as it is futile..
i've learnt not to label things as disasters when we only see one percent of the picture..

Fate has planned to let us meet later, but we broke the rules.. :)

cruel but true quotes

2004-11-27T02:44:00.000-08:00

cruel but true quotes from an very interesting person (he's my angel):

1. not all guys r bastards, but they r juz bastards

2. don be so naive to think that how much u love a person, he will love u as much as how u love him

3. nv take a relationship too seriously from the beginning till u c his true colours

4. chasing u is nv the same after he got u

5. its juz an experience in life

6. you shld have see this coming

gals out there who have read my blog, bear this quotes in mind. :)

and nth's forever.........

hidden emotions

2004-11-25T05:05:00.000-08:00

i've lost all my ability to express myself..
sad songs, confiding.. all doesn help anymore
i needa cry..
i needa let out my emotions..
can anyone help me??
self-pitying..

cry?

2004-11-23T05:42:00.000-08:00

i wanted to cry.. but i juz cldn..
i'm too hurt to cry..
i'm too sick to cry anymore..
wad's crying?
shedding of tears?
or is it juz a show off of emotions?
haha...

haha :'(

2004-11-22T19:07:00.000-08:00

haha.. everything's over...
nth's forever..
i gave up....

total 90 series III

2004-11-18T06:18:00.000-08:00

went to sch for SL todae. haha.. woke up damn late todae, was waken up by boo's msg. coz have to have lunch wif him den buy lunch for shanz n veron. boo n shanz complained tat my sms replies r DAMN fast lah.. wad sio.. haha wad to do.. pp got to many free sms n too free also. haha..
after SL went to queensway wif shanz, boo, joan n veron. siyun forsake us went to watch VCD. :P
anyway bought a pair of shoe todae! total 90 series III.. its golden in colour.. hai.. preferred the maroon 1. but too bad... no more my size le. went into many shops to find but still cldn find my maroon total 90. feel so sad.. but after listening to shanz, joan, veron n boo suggestion, n look at the golden 1 myself, tot tat it isn a bad choice after all... so decided to buy the golden 1. :D
recently, i become more daring le.. haha.. i now noe wad is xian zhan hou zhou le. i din tell my mum tat i goin queensway and buying shoes in the beginning. i told her only when she called. haha surprisingly, she din scold me sia.. so rare.. when i reach home, i tot she'll start nagging at me. but surprisingly she nv. haha.. she only comment very sacastically tat i'm rich liao, so can anyhow buy things. keke.. but she commented its nice. haha.. so happy. den my dad so gd sia. he gave me $50 for the shoe, ask me to pay the rest myself. haha.. its already very nice of him to give me $$ le. haha my dad rox. haha
have been spending a lot of money recently, um its time to control le... keke

wad a holiday...

2004-11-17T04:03:00.000-08:00

came back from malaysia ytd. well.. did nth much in malaysia, coz the things there r so damn ex. althought after u convert back to singapore currency, its almost the same, but when 1st look at the price, u'll get a big fright. 1 levis jeans over there costs like $200 over.. in sing, its also ard this rate lah, $100+(after conversion) but its still ex lah.. n the clothes there are not of my taste, all out of fashion de. maybe coz of the location ba.. shanz said KL was nice to shop ard. haha.. where did i go? its some small city in johor called empress. haha.. think no one has heard it b4 ba..
lucky i'v had a hse over there, spent most of my time slping and watching tv. n my cousin's hse is juz opposite of mine. so go there to slack n play wif her dog. her dog damn cute man, very obedient also. at 1st still very scare don dare to get near it, but after a while den i dare to carry and play wif it le. haha..
well.. todae i started on my holiday hw. started on maths 1st, really no mood man.. do an hr or 2 went to slack liao. den i started packing my stuff, den found out i've LOTS LOTS of hw to do. hai.. i tink i holiday die liao.. i've got so many activites during the holidays how to do. got guitar trainings.. pon twice this mth liao, cannot continue to pon liao or else i'll be CCAless soon. got OGL trainings also. got service learning coming up, goin korea this dec holiday. den have to spend some time playing also.. think this holiday will pass very quickly. n next year will be a harsh yr.. hai...

Party World!!

2004-11-11T06:26:00.000-08:00

haha.. had a fun day today. went to party world today wif my clique. so rare that damien and lam is present today coz usually whenever 1 is ard, the other is not. haha.. but our clique outing is always incomplete. today we lack of joan's company.
sang quite a no of songs todae. haha.. den i showed off my "mo fang yanzi" skill. haha.. they were so shocked that i actually sounded a little bit like sun yanzi. haha..
den damien lau is forever hogging the karaoke. he always dedicate songs which is like centuries ago to sing. bth.. or he chose songs that we nv hear b4. haha.. sorrie for being mean, his singing all machiam the same de, haha all quite monotone. sorrie damien, i'm juz stating facts. haha..
oh ya, me veron n shanz took some neoprints. the funniest part is that there is not time limit for decoration of our neoprints. haha.. boo n damien were so frustrated of seeing us girls decorating our neoprints coz we took so long. and they complained my decoration skills are horrible. how cld they right? haha

brownie and jelly!

2004-11-04T04:19:00.000-08:00

haha.. had a fun day todae at boo's hse. our clique except damien lau (as usual) went to boo's hse, the girls(except siyun, i guessed she's a guy) were busy making brownie while the guys were in the living room playing play station. :S
had a fun time baking brownie. haha.. the brownie was nice man thou it was our 1st attempt. :D but the jelly was a bit too soft i guessed. the brownie made me so damn full man. keke..
ting long had to leave early coz he got some interview for waiter. haha.. don tink he'll get it anyway, its a waste of time to rush down for interview. LOL..
after finishing all the kitchen work, me, veron, boo and shanz played majong. haha, i'm the winner for the day man. win the most no. of times, but all the tai very small 1. keke.. and i zha hu twice, kana suan by boo.. :S
had so much fun todae, hope our clique will forever stay this way. we'll have lots of sweet memories tgt. and when we grew old, and we think back. we'll smile.. :D

TATS THE END OF PW

2004-11-02T02:18:00.000-08:00

haha.. pw is over! finally man.. i've been wasted 1/2 of my youth doin this pw which is of no benefits, no value. not for uni admission, i wldn haf give a damn about this stupid pw. i tink the 1 who came up this idea of pw is a throughout bo liao, chi bao mei shi zhou de ren. can't wait to strangle tat person if i noe who implement this stupid PW!
well, i tink i did quite alright for the OP today. juz tat i've forgotten my lines twice in the presentation, hope tat they won fault me too much on tat. the Q n A was kinda ok, but jillian said i sound as if i gonna fight with the examiner. but tat was not the case. haha.. i was too nervous and i had a stomach discomfort hence have to go toilet asap to settle. LOL.. tats y i can't wait for everything to end. maybe tats y i speak abit louder and fiercer? keke..
shanz and jillian came over to my hse last nite to complete all the evaluations and pack up the GPF. as usual, the group only consist the 3 of us.. haiz.. anyway something stupid happened
my printer broke down and i approached my bro for help. he refused to help me and blame me for doin project at home. den i rebut " mum don let me go other's pp hse to do, so i ask pp come over my hse over n do loh". my mum heard this den started siding me, ask my bro to help me. den GUESS WHAT! he've got a brand new printer in his room n he refused to bring it out to change for tat lousy printer tat i've always been using. i started yaking at him.. den he yak back, den my dad joined in and my mum joined in. LOL.. jillian and shanz was surprised of out "talking volume" my family possess. LOL, shanz sae its in our blood, so guys out there can't blame me for being so loud le ok!
anyway, i'm feeling so damn happy tat PW is over. ya anyway my whole clique got into OGL! LOL.. all thank to the who who who loh. haha.. hope our clique will have fun during the OGL trainings... :D

something wrong

2004-10-28T04:40:00.000-07:00

i guessed there's juz something wrong wif me. or maybe i always fail to express myself in the right way. :S its time to repent..

metal embossing

2004-10-27T07:26:00.000-07:00

well today is creativity day, my clique excluding ming n damien lau had metal embossing. was kinda creative, making some design on the metal piece and then paint on it. had an interesting experience. but i too clumsy ya, so the thing din turn out nice. it looks nice from far. haha its really, nice from far, far from nice. *winkz*
hai.. so many things happened at one go. hope everything will be fine for us..

1204 clique rox

2004-10-23T07:24:00.000-07:00

had great fun todae. after pw, my clique decided to go for clique outing at orchard. we did a lot of things today. me, joan, shanz and veron shopped at far east while ming damien(so rare that he actually forsake suat to join us, haha),boo n ting long ps us n went to lucky plaza to play pool. initially, we galz was quite xian, donno y. but we got excited after we found the 2 for $10 handbags. haha.. the uncle was so nice, he permit us to buy 3 for $15. hence, me joan n shanz bought the $5 handbag. joan n mine is yellow in colour. n shanz chose her fav colour, red. hee.. while veron bought a red purse at $10. haha.. gd bargain right. after which, we found a stall that sell earings at 3 for $10. me shanz veron bought 1 pair each, n joan bought 5 pairs, 3 studs and 2 dangling!! haha scary right. then we go n find the guys at the pool. we showed them our dangling earings n handbag, n they gave us a disgusted look. haha.. wad the hell.
den we went to pacific plaza to get ming present. so funny sia, joan was acting that she's goin to buy present for edmund while shanz act as she's goin to buy present for her bro so that they "approach" ming for advice so as to noe wad he like. they tot they put up a gd show as we finally know wad ming likes n bought him the shirt n slippers. but we later found out ming noe tat we're goin to buy present for him from the very beginning, n he was there acting blur. n noe wad! it was damien who told him abt it. it was meant to be a surprise, cockster.. :P
after dinner, we went to take neoprints. so fun u noe, the machine was so small n we're trying to squeeze every head in. and the 1st neoprint machine we visited had 21 shots. n we were so excited as we wanna try out new standing positions. we were pointing middle fingers and pushing one another's head. haha.. den ting long bth, he went to cover the whole camera wif his huge body.. haha.. really very funny, had a great fun today. :D
clique guys.. i'll rem the times we spent tgt, i'll not forget any1 of us no matter wad. its not easy for us to come tgt. n i cherish all of us...

sorrie

2004-10-21T07:19:00.000-07:00

had a great shock today. me, veron, boo, siyun gave mdm tay to sign our dropping subject form todae during her lessons. after she signed, she said very calmly " those who are dropping phy, u can leave now" hai... and we left and went to the next classroom. as usual, our class phy's "top" the level again, i tink she's really very disappointed wif our class ba, she really put in a lot of effort to teach us, n nv forsaking us thou its quite obvious we CMI. haiz.. sorrie mdm tay.. she's really a very nice teacher, she's the only AJ teacher that i'll comment that she teaches very well. thou she may seem unapproachable, but her teaching method really make us understand the chapts better. but still i did badly, like wad i've said i'm juz purely stupid. haiz...
after sch, went to KFC wif boo, shanz, veron, jillian n erm ya.. i ate a lot sia.. jillian offered me her cole slaw as she thinks i'm still hungry. haiz.. do i look tat hungry? haha.. i din accept it of coz.. not coz i paiseh, coz i really full liao.. haha.. had a great chat wif them. boo n shanz were talking abt their 1st 3 mth life n how interesting their teachers were. haha really quite hilarious, i guess all the energy i've gained from eating all spent on laughing... haiz.. at least they still have such interesting experience, not like me.. my 1st 3 mth life is really quite boring. the pp were so muggy n serious.. lucky i'm in 1204 now, n meet my clique. i love my class now... 1204 rox

lousy day

2004-10-20T05:46:00.000-07:00

hai.. wad a lousy day sia.. promo over liao, still follow normal time table, still have to do hw. can't aj juz let us haf some rest. we're already pack wif pw le loh. errrrrr.... suffocating.
pluck up the courage to take the dropping form from general office. me, boo, si yun n veron dropping phy. really don feel like dropping b4 i take the promos, worked so hard b4 promos hoping that i can score n maintain 4 subs. in the end i scored lousy results n din meet the requirements of taking 4As. it juz shows something- i'm juz not capable. don haf such a big head don wear such a big hat. i'm not my sis.. nvm lah.. since i'm dropping le, hopefully i can do well in my 3 As.
well, the stupid guitar exco members backstab me, damien, yitze n winnie again. 4ever 1 leh.. den mdm khoo wanted to c us. they complained tat we were too noisy. oh plz.. we aren't the only 1 who talk during the pract. cock man.. me n winnie so damn pissed man, we were so defensive of ourselves n we started arguing heatedly wif mdn khoo. she quite nice lah, at least she listen to our side of story. anyway i juz hate those idoitic, nth better to do pp.. can't they spend the time to make the club more interesting rather den spending the time to spot check us n report every little thing to teachers. JC liao leh...everything also complain to teacher.. bth..

OCS trip

2004-10-18T04:23:00.000-07:00

well well, went to OCS today. was kinda tiring, but did enjoy myself today in a way or another lahz. hee.. esp when i get to eat the spring roll which they prepared for us as refreshments. haha..
came to realise that ns life isn't fun at all, have to be in outfield so many days feeding the mosquitoes, n haf to eat all those funny funny rations. eeeeee.. haha lucky i'm a gal. now i understand his plight.. :D
the instructor that brought us for the tour today was quite cute, i said that he looked like chew chor meng, but damien argued tat he looked like zhang zhi ling. haha.. stupid sia. den i commented that got a baby face like him gd leh, coz forever looked young. den damien retorted, "na li hao, go movie still muz check IC" haha... i guessed he's referring to himself, as he n suat was asked for their IC to check when they went for the NC16 show. haha.. so wad does this show? they looked young or kiddy? haha...
anyway i passed my GP for promo, really a borderline pass, think combined wif my CA, overall shld be fail ba. haiz.. so sad.. but wadever i'll be promoted anyway. :)

finally.. my blog!

2004-10-17T02:29:00.000-07:00

its actually the 1st time that my pw grp came to my hse to do pw WITHOUT any1 absent wor, including peng ming. haha.. coolz right? but we din do anything fruitful as all of us were slacking. ming came for like 1 hr den went downstairs to buy food as he's hungry. yong lim is busy watching his fav soccer match at my ESPN channel. shanz were busy helping me to set up a blog, thankx palz. n jillian was the most serious of all, waiting for us to slack finish den carry on wif pw. haha..
but there's something wrong wif my blog! pp couldn post msg at my tag box as the wordings cannot be seen. ming was trying so hard to help me but he eventually gave up, haha so does shanz. but still muz thank them for their effort.
i donno wad to put a cool name for my blog, so i flip the dictionary, n found this word, importunate. haha.. but ming was condemning me for that. haiz.. :P ming also condemn me for being so naggy like my mum coz i kept nagging him to throw the rubbish he has left behind. he also sae i'm a humji coz i kept repeating that i've to mop the floor as my mum will scold. haha..
anyway had a fun day today slacking.. :D